Winter – I’m not a fan.
Granted my winter clothes are finer than my summer ones and by that, I mean smarter, not that anyone gets to see them in my current lifestyle.
My house is freezing and in the good old days when we had electricity, and it was affordable I could turn on the underfloor heating but not anymore. Now we bundle up with layers and blankets. I find the warmest place is my bed.
I have an electric blanket which is a subject of contention. I like it on high. So high that my bum must burn. I cope with hot flashes during summer so spiking body temperature is something I am used to.
My partner – not so much. He lies on the other side of our extra length king size bed and when he feels cold, he uses me as a hot water bottle.
I’m not a cuddler so spooning to stay warm feels like someone sitting on my chest squeezing the life out of me. As I said – winter, not a fan.
My skin dries out, my cuticles split, I itch, and my hair looks like I’ve been shocked. None of this inspires being sexy or wanting to have sex.
So how do you keep intimacy alive when it’s cold outside.
The short answer is – force yourself!
Having sex floods your body with happy hormones. It also facilitates the release of oxytocin, a hormone that promotes bonding, in addition to a lot of other health benefits like easing stress and boosting the immune system.
So instead of a trip to the pharmacy have a romp.
Spooning is the perfect winter sex position because it allows you to cuddle up to each other and keep warm. With both of you lying on your side facing away from each other is the perfect position for a quicky without having to remove too much clothing.
Another great position for winter is to get your partner to sit and then climb onto their lap. Wrap your arms and legs around them. No need to remove all your kit although I would hope that you generate enough heat to want to take all your winter woolies off.
There is nothing warmer than a tight hug while experiencing an orgasm.
It’s a known fact that sex drive drops in winter: Due to less intensity of sunlight and reduced production of serotonin, the hormone promoting sex drive, you may experience a drop in your sexual urge during winters.
Serotonin gets replaced by melatonin that impedes your sex drive. Also, the early onset of sundown in winter is a downer for sex.
I would never let a man into my bed wearing socks and yet there is research that disputes my theory.
Before having sex, researchers gave couples socks to wear. They found that 80% of the couples achieved orgasm, compared with 50% who had orgasms while having sex barefoot. Wear socks.
You can also spice things up with food. Thick soups, curry, chili and chocolate.
I don’t really need the excuse of winter to eat these delights.
Ginger can help improve circulation, which in turn, increases blood flow to your sex organs. Peppers contain capsaicin, an irritant that, at first, might cause you to sweat. But, after that subsides, you’ll be warmer all over.
In addition to spiking both of your dinners with these ingredients, drive each other crazy by brewing a cup of peppermint tea, taking a few sips, and then having oral sex.
You can always use flavoured lubricants, warming oils and clitoral stimulants to the same effect.
If you’re a date night couple, do not cancel dates. It is extremely easy to skip date night and stay in when its so cold outside but don’t. If need be, make a special meal at home, set up a movie night or go outside and watch the stars.
Cuddle up outside, watch the stars and when you get back indoors (unless you’re in my house) things will feel warmer. All your extremities will be tingly from the cold, and we all know how good tingles can feel.
My best thing about winter is the luxury of a hot bath shared. Try adding bubbles or a bath bomb but only if you are going to lie in the bath and reconnect. Don’t if you’re planning to have sex in the bath. The chemicals will leave you with an infection and that is just not sexy.
If you are planning to have sex in the bath leave the water as it is but use a good silicone-based lubricant to make penetration easier and more pleasant. We recommend any of the silicone-based lubricants from Pjur. Available in our Lola Montez Store in Hyde Park or online https://lolamontez.co.za/product-category/lubricants-and-lotions/. You’ll thank me later.
Until next week keep warm and get those hormones pumping.