Which toy? How to decide.
It’s that time again!
I’ve recently had a spate of questions about how to pick a sex toy. It always starts with ‘I’m so embarrassed!’ and my reply is almost always ‘Why? This is the most significant decision you are making for your mental and physical health this year!’
And I mean it.
To help you decide I have to know a couple of intimate details, like what kind of stimulation do you like? Are you a clitoris or G-Spot woman? Are you playing with or without your partner.
The first step is getting to know your body and what gives you pleasure. This way you will understand what gives you pleasure. We are all different. Take some time to do your research. You don’t have to feel pressured to make a purchase. Ask your friendly Lola Montez Consultant for recommendations or your girlfriends. I’ve recently seen suggestions on community groups.
Read reviews but still make your own decisions. I love window shopping online, drawing up a short list and then making a decision.
Do you prefer internal or external stimulation or a bit of both? Do you enjoy intense and localized sensations or do you prefer all over stimulation.
Are you planning to play in the shower because if you are, make sure that the toy you choose is waterproof. Temperature play will need a toy that can heat up, or something you can put in the fridge, a glass or Perspex toy.
For more stimulation go for a textured toy.
I personally think that every toy is a couple toy, but some do draw a distinction between couple and solo play. If you share your toys with a partner or partners safe sex if always a priority. Covering toys with a condom is recommended. It makes them easier to clean and simple to share.
If you’re in a long-term relationship, Bluetooth enabled, and App Controlled Toys are a game changer especially if you are using a Facetime App as well. Everyone likes to watch!
Think of a shape and size you might like. We always recommend that you start small and work your way up. Think about what you can handle or want to insert. Sometimes size does matter.
If you are wanting an anal sex toy, make sure that the toy has a handle or a flared base. The anus sucks during orgasm and if you’re too shy to ask about what toy to buy, a trip to the emergency room will be something to remember.
Where are you keeping your toy? If your children snoop and you don’t want them to know you have a toy, then you need to stay away from anatomically correct toys. There are so many beautifully shaped toys available.
You may also want to check out how noisy the toy is.
These days they are more silent than not. The harder the material the toy is made from the noisier it will be.
Which brings me to the material used in the manufacture of sex toys. In the old days – not so long ago, the materials contained phthalates which were very bad for us but luckily no more. Body safe materials include silicone, metal, glass or hard plastics that are non-porous.
Jelly or Rubber Toys can trap bacteria in the surface. They can also tear. Trapped bacteria can cause infections. If your preferred toy is made from these materials a quick fix is the condom.
I’d like to say always buy from Lola Montez but any reputable dealer worth their salt will be able to advise you.
Next you have to decide on your budget. You must have a number in your mind before you start.
These days you may need a second bond on your house for top of the range toys. The Rand has tanked, and shipping has increased substantially since COVID. On top of that we now have to get SABS approval for every charging toy because ISO standards are not good enough. Can you hear the frustration in my tone!
You may not want to splurge on your first toy but paying a little more for a good quality product is definitely worth it in the long run. Cheaper ones may not be the best quality and may not last that long. As a retailer I’m not going to argue with replacing but I do want you to have the best experience and not feel cheated.
This is a bit of a Goldie Locks moment.
You don’t want to spend too much until you know what works for you. So, I would go with a midrange price.
Your next consideration is how will the toy be powered. The difference between a vibrator and a dildo is, a vibrator moves, shakes and vibrates. It can pulse, get more or less intense and a dildo does not move at all.
Vibrators will either use batteries or charge. Batteries are pretty standard across the globe but the same is not true for electricity. Check how the toy is charged. If it plugs straight into the wall with or without an adaptor you need to be careful. If you are buying your baby while you are overseas or if you travel a lot, a USB chargeable option is probably better.
Get a good lubricant. In my world the wetter the better. It helps reduce friction, makes things smoother and much more enjoyable.
The material of the toy will decide which lubricant you will need to purchase. Don’t use silicone lubricant on a silicone toy, it will eventually cause damage. A water-based lubricant is usually the safest choice for toys and condoms.
When buying online make sure you’re dealing with someone reputable. The toy industry is booming and is largely unregulated. Buy from a trusted brand will protect you from being sold scam products. Buying in store is even better because you can touch and feel and learning about different modes and ways in which the toy can be used.
Someone pointed out to me that a vibrating penis ring is a fantastic accessory on a strapless strap-on. I’d never thought of it, and I’ve been doing this a long time.
The journey to purchasing your first toy should be filled with joy and excitement. You must be congratulated on making the decision to get your first toy. Now all you have to do is place the order. Do it now, you know you want to.