Sex should NEVER Hurt

Sex should NEVER Hurt

Sex should never hurt. True but just like ‘Love means never having to say you’re sorry’, I call Bull#$%^.

There are many reasons why sex can hurt or be uncomfortable. The one truth is that it can be treated and alleviated. The trick is to identify the cause.

For Men

Pain during sex in men can be caused by several physical or psychological factors, including:

1. Infections & Inflammation:
   • Urinary tract infections (UTIs)
   • Sexually transmitted infections (STIs) like chlamydia or herpes
   • Prostatitis (inflammation of the prostate)
   • Balanitis (inflammation of the head of the penis)
2. Skin & Structural Issues:
   • Phimosis (tight foreskin that cannot retract)
   • Pyronine’s disease (curvature of the penis due to scar tissue)
   • Penile injury or trauma
   • Allergic reactions (to condoms, lubricants, or personal care products)
3. Erectile & Circulatory Issues:
   • Erectile dysfunction (leading to strain or discomfort)
   • Priapism (prolonged, painful erections)
4. Pelvic Floor & Nerve Issues:
   • Pelvic floor dysfunction
   • Pudendal nerve entrapment (nerve compression causing pain)
5. Psychological Factors:
   • Anxiety or performance stress
   • Past trauma or negative sexual experiences

For Women

Painful sex in women can have multiple causes, including:

1. Vaginal & Vulvar Conditions:
   • Vaginal dryness (often due to menopause, hormonal changes, or medication)
   • Vaginitis (yeast infections, bacterial vaginosis, or STIs)
   • Vulvodynia (chronic vulvar pain or irritation)
2. Pelvic & Structural Issues:
   • Endometriosis (tissue growth outside the uterus causing deep pain)
   • Fibroids (can cause pressure or pain during penetration)
   • Ovarian cysts
3. Tightening & Muscle Issues:
   • Vaginismus (involuntary muscle spasms preventing penetration)
   • Pelvic floor dysfunction
4. Postpartum & Menopausal Changes:
   • Vaginal atrophy (thinning of vaginal walls due to low oestrogen)
   • Scarring from childbirth or episiotomy
5. Psychological Factors:
   • Anxiety, stress, or fear of pain
   • History of trauma or abuse

If you recognise any of these conditions the best remedy is to consult a sex friendly medical practitioner. But here are some ideas

Managing Painful Sex in Men and Women

Painful sex (dyspareunia) can be managed through medical treatment, lifestyle changes, and psychological support. Here are recommendations based on the potential causes:

For Men

1. Treat Underlying Infections & Inflammation
   • See a doctor for antibiotics or antifungals if you suspect a UTI, STI, prostatitis, or balanitis.
   • Practice good hygiene and use protection to prevent infections.
2. Address Skin & Structural Issues
   • Phimosis: Consider topical steroid creams or, in severe cases, circumcision.
   • Pyronine’s Disease: Consult a urologist about treatment options, including medication, stretching exercises, or surgery.
3. Manage Erectile & Circulatory Issues
   • Seek medical advice for erectile dysfunction (ED) and consider treatments like PDE5 inhibitors (Viagra, Cialis).
   • Stay physically active to promote blood flow.
   • A penis pump may help get blood to the penis. With the use of a cock ring, you can keep the erection for longer. These are available on lolamontez.co.za
4. Pelvic Floor & Nerve Pain
   • Consider pelvic floor physical therapy for muscle dysfunction.
   • If nerve pain is suspected, consult a neurologist or urologist.
5. Psychological & Emotional Support
   • Address anxiety and past trauma through therapy or counselling.
   • Engage in open communication with partners about discomfort and boundaries.

For Women

1. Improve Vaginal Moisture & Lubrication
   • Use water-based or silicone-based lubricants to reduce friction. At lolamontez.co.za we have a fantastic range of the best lubricants available. My personal favourites are from the Pjur range. They never go sticky.
   • Vaginal moisturizers can help with dryness.
2. Hormonal & Menopausal Solutions
   • Vaginal oestrogen therapy (creams, rings, or tablets) can help with atrophy.
   • Consider hormone replacement therapy (HRT) if menopause is a factor. And please stop believing a now out of date research paper that made us all run for the hills. HRT has many options and will make your life so much easier. There is NO reason to keep suffering.
3. Treat Underlying Conditions
   • For infections (yeast, BV, STIs), use prescribed antifungals or antibiotics.
   • For endometriosis, fibroids, or ovarian cysts, consult a gynaecologist for medical or surgical options.
4. Pelvic Floor & Muscle Relaxation
   • Vaginismus or Pelvic Floor Dysfunction: Consider pelvic floor physical therapy or vaginal dilators, these dilators are available from lolamontez.co.za.
   • Deep breathing and relaxation techniques can help reduce muscle tension.
5. Psychological & Emotional Support
   • Therapy or counselling can help with trauma, anxiety, or past negative experiences.
   • Engage in mindful intimacy practices like non-penetrative touch or guided exercises.
6. Postpartum & Healing Support
   • If recovering from childbirth, give your body time to heal.
   • Use perineal massage, gentle stretching, and consult a doctor for any lingering pain.

General Recommendations for Both Men & Women

• Communicate openly with your partner about what feels comfortable.
• See a doctor if pain persists to rule out medical conditions.
• Try different positions to minimize discomfort.
• Stay hydrated & maintain a healthy lifestyle to support overall sexual health.

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