Gym for the Genitals: Why Your Pelvic Floor is the Ultimate Power Move
As part of my ongoing, slightly desperate fight against the march of time, I’ve returned to the gym. I currently have muscles aching in places I didn’t even know were legal to have muscles, and this week, my trainer subjected me to the dreaded “Glute Bridge.”
While I was hovering there, questioning my life choices, I realized that this particular move is doing a lot more than just lifting my backside. It is the ultimate workout for the Pelvic Floor, those elusive “PC muscles” (pubococcygeus) that act as a hammock for your internal organs.
We started discussing how vital these muscles are for everyone. For men, a strong pelvic floor is the secret to a firmer, more reliable erection.
For women, it’s about intensifying orgasms and perhaps more importantly at my age, ensuring that a sneeze doesn’t turn into a laundry emergency. Because let’s be honest: peeing your pants in the middle of a Woolies aisle is just not the “yummy” vibe we’re going for.
The Science of the Squeeze
The PC muscle is the sling that supports your genitals. In the past, we just called them “Kegels” (named after Dr. Arnold Kegel, the gynaecologist who popularized them in the 40s). But the latest research shows that these muscles are the foundation for keeping your genitals in order.
When you exercise your PC muscles, you increase blood flow to the pelvic region. Improved muscle tone means improved sensitivity. If your muscles are happy and snappy, your orgasms are easier to reach and significantly stronger.
How to find them:
The easiest way is the urine stop test. The next time you’re on the loo, try to stop the flow mid-stream. Those muscles you just clenched. Those are the ones.
Pro-tip: Don’t do this every time you pee as it can confuse your bladder, just do it once to locate the target.
Dumbbells for the Vagina
While glute bridges are great, I’m a fan of Sensual Technology. Enter Ben Wa Balls (also known as Kegel balls, Love balls, or Jade eggs). If you watched 50 Shades, you’ve seen them, but they aren’t just movie props, they are literally dumbbells for your vagina.
Modern sets, like those from Je Joue Ami Vagina Balls or Rocks Off Unite Kegel Set, usually come in a range of weights. You insert them like a tampon (and no, they won’t get lost; your cervix is a dead end street). Your body instinctively squeezes to keep them in place, giving you a passive workout while you go about your day.
The Latest Research:
We now know that pelvic floor health is linked to core stability and even lower back pain. A tight pelvic floor isn’t actually the goal, a functional and responsive one is. If your muscles are too tight and never relax, that can cause pain. The goal is the Squeeze and Release.
Two Opinions: The “Rolling Ball” Mystery
There are always sceptics. One expert (almost certainly a man who hasn’t spent much time in the vicinity of a vagina) once claimed these are rubbish because the vagina “envelops” them too securely to move. He claimed that if you sneeze, they’ll just roll down your leg at a dinner party.
My response? If your balls are rolling down your leg at a dinner party, you haven’t been doing your glute bridges!
Yes, they have a certain ancient mystique (dating back to Chinese scripts from 500 BC), but they are miracle workers for body literacy. They teach you to pay attention to subtle internal sensations.
Sharon’s Training Tips:
- Start Light: Just like the gym, don’t start with the 10kg plates. Use the lightest ball in the set for 30 minutes a day.
- Wear Panties: A word to the wise, until you’ve built up that grip, wear underwear. It takes a very brave woman to chase a rogue weighted ball across the supermarket floor.
- Hygiene is Holy: Ensure they are medical-grade silicone and clean them thoroughly after use.
- The Dinner Date Move: I know someone who wore her weights out to dinner and then discreetly passed them to her date under the table as a promise of things to come. He called for the bill in record time.
Whether you’re doing it for better sex, better bladder control, or just to impress your trainer, start exercising those PC muscles. You now have a perfectly legitimate medical reason to go shopping for toys.
May your muscles be happy and snappy!
