Rekindling Desire: Adult Toys for Menopausal Low Libido
Menopause is a natural, powerful transition, but let’s be honest: it can throw your sex life a bit off balance. For many women and people with vulvas, the drop in estrogen during perimenopause and menopause brings a host of changes—vaginal dryness, discomfort during sex, changes in body image, and yes, low libido.
But here’s the good news: low desire doesn’t mean no pleasure.
And it certainly doesn’t mean you’re broken or past your prime.
At Lola Montez, we believe pleasure doesn’t have an expiry date. Adult toys can help reignite sensuality, boost desire, and reintroduce your body to joy, warmth, and confidence—on your terms.
Let’s talk about how.
Understanding Low Libido in Menopause
Low libido during menopause is common and totally normal. Your body is shifting—hormonally, emotionally, and sometimes in how it responds to stimulation. You may experience:
- Less spontaneous desire or interest in sex
- Difficulty getting aroused or staying in the mood
- Vaginal dryness or tightness that makes intimacy uncomfortable
- Feeling disconnected from your body or sexuality
This doesn’t mean your sensual self is gone, it just means it might need a gentler invitation. That’s where adult toys come in.
Why Adult Toys Can Help
You don’t need to “wait” for desire to return. You can actively nurture it—with compassion, curiosity, and yes, a little vibration.
💡 1. They Reawaken Sensation
Many menopausal bodies need more direct and consistent stimulation to reach the same level of arousal as before. Vibrators, suction toys, and textured dildos can help build arousal more easily and wake up areas that feel dormant.
💡 2. They Boost Blood Flow
Regular use of toys increases blood circulation to the pelvic region, which improves sensitivity, lubrication, and even strengthens pelvic floor muscles. More blood flow = more arousal.
💡 3. They Reduce Pain and Dryness
Using toys with lube can gently stretch and stimulate vaginal tissues, helping to prevent atrophy and reduce discomfort. It’s a practical and pleasurable way to stay connected to your body.
💡 4. They Empower Self-Discovery
Your body may not respond the same way it used to—and that’s okay. Toys give you a safe, shame-free way to explore what feels good now, without pressure or expectation.
Choosing the Right Toy for Menopausal Bodies
When libido is low, it helps to start with comfort, ease, and sensuality. Here’s what to look for:
✅ Gentle Yet Powerful Stimulation
Rumbly, not buzzy. Look for toys with adjustable settings and a low starting intensity to avoid overwhelm.
✅ Body-Safe, Soft Materials
Silky silicone, smooth glass, or plush silicone are ideal. Vaginal tissues may be more sensitive or thinner—avoid anything too rough or abrasive.
✅ Ergonomic and Easy to Hold
If you have joint issues, hot flashes, or just don’t want to strain yourself, opt for toys with easy grips or remote controls.
✅ Lube-Friendly
Always pair toys with a good-quality water-based or hybrid lubricant. It makes everything smoother, more comfortable, and more enjoyable.
Read our post on Toy Recommendations for Menopausal Low Libido.
We’ve handpicked a few favourites available at Lola Montez: