10 Steps to Reviving Intimacy in your Relationship
We spend so much time talking about sex, the actual physical nuts and bolts of it.
These days with swiping left or right and hook ups we barely have time to decide if the person we are hooking up with is suitable to have a conversation with, never mind whether this is someone who you can be intimate with.
I believe that intimacy is a vital component of love.
It is where the trust, care, affection, nurturing and all the positive characteristics of love reside. It’s a touch or a look. It may be unexpected and so moving that you remember the moment for the rest of your life.
When the intimacy is gone, or worse never there, your relationship will start to fade.
Building and maintaining intimacy in a relationship is vital but chances are we have forgotten how to be intimate and really don’t know how to get it back.
Here are ten tips to help you revive the intimacy in your relationship:
- Prioritize – We’ve heard this a hundred times and promise ourselves that tomorrow, next week or even next month things will be better. Our hectic lives, we get pulled in many different directions, Work, children, parents, friends, illness and more often these day financial pressures.
Our relationship is the first to be neglected. By prioritizing relationships, responsibilities, duties and individual pleasures, we are free to devote the appropriate amount of time and care. Like all living things, your relationship needs to be fed.
- Find your Fun – This is a hard one for me. I’m not a fun kind of person and have to be cajoled into it. There are times to be serious but try to find the balance. Dedicate time and energy in more laughter, smiles and fun time together. We went go-carting not so long ago. I am Captain Slow. We laughed so hard because I have many speed fines that say otherwise.
- Keep Touching – Our sense of touch is so sensual and often overlooked. Touch is healing, comforting, arousing and affectionate. Embrace, kiss and hug your partner daily if not many times a day. This physical connection lets them know that your love for them is still alive. As a woman I would just add that it is important not to just touch our breasts and genitals. Back of the neck SO much sexier.
- Say it and show it – Love by example, not simply by words. When you utter the words “I Love You” pause, look into their eyes and take in their essence. Allow the message to land. My language of love is service, so please fix the lawnmower.
- Make Mental Love – Intimacy and great sex begins in the mind. Seduce your partner mentally to stimulate their senses, mind, body and soul. Leave notes, love coupons, text a sexy message, instant message them a reminder of your attraction, FaceTime a loving message all to stir their passion. Foreplay starts after the last orgasm!
- Watch how you speak – When you talk to you or about your partner, let your words describe the love and respect you have for them. Calling him an idiot or worse is not conducive to intimacy.
Words are powerful and can leave wounds that take years to heal. Carefully chose words to encourage, clarify understanding, support, nurture, inspire and reaffirm your love.
- Create Space -Invite romance back into your bedroom. Redecorate, unclutter and enhance the environment so that you both can relax and enjoy being in the space together. It is your love sanctuary. Add a gorgeous Tantra couch for added excitement.
- Get Everybody on Board – With the kids and/or elderly parents in the home, get everyone on board with your revival. Make sure that everyone knows what a closed door means. Set a date night schedule and make it clear that unless an emergency, you are not to be disturbed. Arrange care for your kids with other couples who have kids and trade off on date nights. It can be arranged in conjunction with playdates or sleep overs for the kids.
- Ask and tell what feels good. Chances are after all these years you’ve either forgotten or your body has changed but you are still using those old techniques you learned from 1980s porn. Time to level up and discover what works for both of you. It’s not going to happen unless you communicate your wants and desires.
- Allow your hearts and breath to sync – No more a quick smack on the lips as you run off to wherever life takes you at the moment. From now on allow the hormones that are released when you embrace, kiss or look into each other’s eyes. Those few seconds will do wonders for you and your relationship.
These tips can help you revive, rejuvenate and reinvent a loving and intimate relationship. But it takes work – every day!
Start this weekend because life is so short and just when you think you have time to fix and show and reinvent your relationship it can come to an abrupt end.
So please – do it today.