Viva Vagina
Viva Vagina. I’ve been learning all about menopause and more specifically menopause and its effect on our genitals.
It’s not pretty.
From the time we become aware of our genitals a woman is fed a stream of les about what it should look like, feel like and smell like. We obsess about our labia, pubic hair and hygiene. I’m not saying good hygiene isn’t important but leave the vagina alone. It’s a self-cleaning body part and you should never mess with its PH.
I decided to do a Google search to find out what we were worrying about in the genital area and vaginal tightness seems to be an obsession. If you ask anyone who suffers from a condition called vaginismus, you’ll know that a tight vagina is not what it’s cut out to be. It is in fact painful and takes years of therapy and intervention to make having sex tolerable.
Lazer Treatments
A couple of years ago I heard about a laser treatment to tighten the vagina. I could never understand the attraction. Since my menopause journey it now turns out that they are marketing it wrong. It should be about keeping your vagina plump and juicy because as you age the vagina and Vulva change to become paper thin. Laser treatment can help to stave off this change.
There are physiotherapists who specialize in the genital area who can help with all sorts of complications after childbirth and the aging process but let’s rather be obsessed with a tight vagina. Sometimes I have to wonder about our priorities and how stupid we are to believe the myths fed to us.
Donuts!!!
I remember sex education when a teacher intent on us remaining ‘pure’ passed a donut around and make us all finger the centre. By the end of the class, it was worse for wear and falling apart. This she said would happen to our genitals if we had sex before marriage.
I grew up thinking that the more sex I had the more my vagina would stretch and become useless for pleasure to my partner. Nobody mentioned my pleasure.
Let’s deal with this myth. The female body produces about 10 000 eggs during her lifetime. It does not matter if you have sex with one partner or 10 000 different partners it will not affect the tightness of your vagina. What will affect it is age!
Just like every other body part, age takes its toll.
The muscles weaken and lose elasticity. In women this is because our estrogen levels start to drop during the menopause transition. It has nothing to do with how much sex you’ve had.
The next myth to deal with is that a tighter vagina means better sex. For whom?
It is common knowledge that a woman with a tight vagina will experience extreme pain which is never pleasurable. The more relaxed a woman is the looser the vagina and the more pleasure – for her! Maybe your partner wants his penis is a vice grip, but hen he has no concern for your comfort and pleasure. It’s not the partner I want.
Myth List
Next on the myth list and closely related to the first myth is that tight vaginas are purer!
Bugger off! A tight vagina has absolutely nothing to do with nor does it have any bearing on your worth as a human being. It has no bearing on your journey as a sexual being, nor should it have any influence on a potential partner. I’ve always been confused how men are allowed all this experience and women not.
Penises come in all shapes and sizes. You may have a preference, but they are all fine and so too viva vagina.
Having babies will make your vagina flabby and less tight. I absolutely believed this one and so wanted a C section before I gave birth to my son. It is not true. Yes, a baby grows inside you and comes out of the cervix and vagina. Yes, it will be looser but only for a short time. Especially if you take the time and take steps to heal the perineum, vagina walls and pelvic floor.
If you tore badly the nerve ending may have been affected but treatment can fix most problems, and pleasure will feel different, but your vagina does not turn into a gaping hole and abyss.
If you break your arm, it also needs treatment and takes about six weeks to heal, with treatment protocols. The same goes for your viva vagina.
So much angst is caused by thinking that our partner’s pleasure is more important than ours. A couple of weeks ago I wrote about how in sexual assault, shame must change sides. I believe the same to be true for pleasure.
A woman’s pleasure has always been secondary to her partner’s. It’s time to change. My flabby, thinning vagina is just as entitled to pleasure as my partner. Should he want a vice grip, there are ways and means to supply it without getting my vagina involved.
I am however exploring the laser therapy thing but for my own comfort, health and wellness.
Viva the vagina, Viva Vagina.
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